Mind the GAP - because they bridge the gap between customer and corporation!

           

You know, even in today's marketplace where everyone is spouting off politically correct prose about being customer-centric and how critical one's client base is, I continue to be amazed at how badly various big name brands actually handle customer concerns and complaints. They say one thing in their publicity and promotional materials while sticking their hands in your pockets at the same time - something I find distasteful in the extreme. 

First up in my "two out of three is bad!" list is Bell Canada, a multimedia communications company who supply a lot of us with our home telephone and Internet and television services. I don't think it's any secret that the Bell network and exterior infrastructure is in bad shape and needs a serious overhaul - one of their own technicians, who happened to be an ex-Videotron (a major Bell competitor) employee, told me that there are many problems in an aging system. 

That person even told me that it was extremely easy to jump from Videotron to Bell because of the increasing need for technicians to go out in the field and repair the ongoing problems with Bell's infrastructure - there are jobs for all. While I have no problems with that, per se, what I do have a problem with, and a big one at that, is being asked to pay again and again for upgrades to the aging, aching carcass of their crumbling out-of-date network. 

I have lost count of the number of price hikes they have hitched onto my bills in recent years. It's always out of the blue, a few bucks here, and a few more there. They don't even appear to be apologetic about it - "in order to improve our services to our customers, we need to blah blah blah" - what I want to know is why WE have to pay for it? How come the company has not been investing in new technology along the way, instead of pocketing profits we have given them over many years? The fatted calf, milked totally dry.

You can say that an extra three bucks a month on a phone bill is hardly life-threatening, but this is precisely how they have been milking us dry for years already! Add on a little here, then a little there, and a then a little over here again. When you consider that Bell services some 13 million phone lines, for example, can you do the math and see how that extra three bucks adds up? $40M more per MONTH?!! 

They use every criteria possible. Bump the price of the modem rental. Add some on for telephone network maintenance. Remove some of the bundle savings. Etc. My monthly bill was around $86 (after other fee bumps) at the end of 2012. Then it was around $93 by January of 2013. As of November 2013, it is now around $101. Are you kidding me? Would we accept our gas prices jumping this much (15-20%) in a year, or our electricity prices, or even our groceries? Videotron are kicking some royal butt here in Quebec, and Bell seems to think that they can continue to bilk us out of more money, when the simplest thing for us would be to do what they should be worried about - switch the phone, Internet and TV to Videotron and get their lower prices and better bundle savings on a more modern, less vulnerable network!

It's very simple, people - they have gotten away with it because they can - no one seems to notice the relatively small bumps, and when you pile them up over a year or three, well, a massive amount of extra cash is coming in. All as an effort to help us, the loyal customer. I spoke to them about it last weekend, and raised the point of why one would pay them essentially $40 a month to have a home phone line when their competitor offers telephony at a huge discount relative to them? There was no answer, so I left the chat window. How totally ironic that my home Internet service went down shortly thereafter, due to "incorrect credentials" - such irony certainly was not lost on me, and I could not get it back until the next morning.  

The message is clear - we made truckloads of money from y'all in the good old days when there was less competition, we filled our bellies and drank the fruit of the vine - then fell asleep at the wheel and did not reinvest any of it. Boom, 2011 arrived, and we have an outdated old-fashioned creaking spider's web of infrastructure that needs fixing - so let's screw our loyal customers (some more) to get the repairs/upgrading done. Brilliant! Not.

In another excruciating example of a total disconnect with one's customers, I come to Speedpass by Esso. A lovely idea, in theory, but totally and horrifically dysfunctional in practice. Here's the idea - you get a Speedpass connected to your Interac card/bank account, and when you go for gas all you have to do is swipe the pass in front of a reader and bingo, the job is done! The cash is debited directly from your account, and no monthly bill on your credit card.

Except, Esso forgot about one major thing and it astounds me that it's even possible. I went onto the Speedpass website to activate my pass (seems perfectly reasonable, no?) and it informed me that you cannot do so online. Fine. I then went to my local Esso where I thought I could activate it at the pump. No. I was instructed to go inside and get it activated by the personnel on duty. Fine. But, the Esso staff had ZERO idea how you do that. Not even the remotest idea - "we don't do that, no one has ever asked us to do that, call up Esso" etc.

I then called up Esso so that I could activate it on the phone. In an astounding turn of events, I was informed repeatedly by various reps that it cannot be done over the phone either, even with all the ID they need at hand, but that it must be activated at an Esso station. I was recommended to try another Esso station. Uh huh. I have now tried at six different Esso stations (mainly in downtown Montreal) and no one is able to do it. Today's way to pay, if you can find one of those mobile street-wandering Esso robots where you flash your pass, and the green lights flash rapidly with loud music, celebrating your Speedpass activation!

The last resort, on my last attempt, was the recommendation to "get them to call us (Esso Speedpass) from the station when you are there, and we will tell them how to do it" - the only problem being that I get gas when I am on my way to work in the morning and there is no Speedpass customer service before 9am, when I am already in my office! It is an appalling and unbelievable example of a total customer service fiasco that, one year later, and this Speedpass remains inactivated. On top of that, their personnel on the phone are staggeringly unsympathetic and unmoved by my frustrations at this ridiculous and totally avoidable situation. 

It's shameful, and someone should be in front of a piercing white light being grilled about how it could happen at a brand like Esso. In my case, the tagline is less what is shown on the logo above, and clearly more - "Speedpass, today's way to (not) pay!"

But thank God, not all brands are hypocrites and some actually do care about their clientele, and about expanding that clientele beyond the current customer database. I am talking about a company who I have admired for decades, primarily as a high street retailer, but one which has become quite a force in the new world of online retail and which truly and consistently delivers on their customer service promise - Gap. 

I cannot say more that says it all about Gap other than - it works! You get hot promotional codes in your email, you go on the site, it's super cool and super clear, a great display of merchandise at all times, you add stuff to your cart and then apply your codes and you get really nice discounts. An email arrives shortly thereafter to confirm the purchase, and more often than not, mere days later it arrives at home, perfectly packed and shipped, for free.

Just as they claim, when you don't like something, you simply pop it back in the bag or box (both cleverly designed to be resealed/reused), stick the pre-supplied shipping label on top and drop it off at the post office. No charge, no fuss. And, your credit card gets reimbursed right away. Anytime you do have a problem, a discount didn't get applied, or you realized you made an error in the order, you can get them on the phone, and their very professional and courteous staff sort it out for you, immediately, no questions asked. They cannot do enough for you, and they eliminate all the usual reasons why people don't like shopping online, or talking to customer service departments. A truly exceptional customer experience. 

Gap gets it right, and they are a shining example for all. I don't care what the commercial area might be, customer service is customer service, irrespective of whether you are selling a phone line service or a "lived-in wash" microcheck shirt. It's all about user experience, and when one uses Gap one feels really good about it, not least due to all the time they just saved you, and when you hit a roadblock they step in and get you on your way again, with no delay. It goes without saying that having a slew of great looking great feeling products at great prices doesn't hurt either!

It all adds up, and with the time I saved ordering some clothes from Gap recently, well, I found the time on  a chilly Sunday morning to be able to stay home and write this blog! Not surprisingly, that fact may make Gap feel a lot better than either Bell or Esso, but when it comes to customer service responses I think that you get what you deserve - and two out of this three disappoint - big time. Only time will tell whether they care enough to do anything about it, and I won't be holding my breath on that one! - Kevin Mc

Toronto train wreck - Ford nation turning into an abomination!

I don't know what the hell is going on with Canadian mayors these days, but if the shenanigans going on in both Ontario and Quebec are anything to go by - Houston, we have a problem. Or that catchphrase today truly should be "Toronto, we have a problem".

It's one thing to get through three mayors (one of whom was recently arrested) in less than a year in Montreal, the fallout of the allegedly corruption-rife administration of Gerald Tremblay (and the famous two budgets; one real, one vastly inflated, the latter of which we all paid for), and the Charbonneau inquiry into rampant corruption in the construction industry, under Tremblay's watch. 

Nobody cried any tears when Tremblay was forced out - he was in the twelfth year of a three-term stint, and that was already about eight years too late in most people's opinion, it seemed. It is quite sickening to hear such types ranting on about doing what is best for the cityscape, all holier-than-thou, while simultaneously being accused of accepting or actively participating in illegal activities behind closed doors in plush city hall offices. 

It is a complete and total abuse of power. Power which they should never have been given in the first place, because either they were already corrupted prior to engagement, or, they became corrupted by their sudden rise to power, elected by the people. Some form of arrogant detachment begins to creep in, allowing them to believe that they are so "special" that they don't have to follow rules or the law, probably because in their misled heads, they now are the law. Or are actually above it.  Uh huh.

Montreal was not the only city in Quebec to be hit by such scandal, as shockwaves rocked Laval (a Montreal suburb that is actually Canada's thirteenth biggest city) when the so-called "King of Laval" was also arrested in 2013 and charged with actual gangsterism, and fraud, among other charges. It was truly ironic to see the Mayor of Laval in handcuffs in the Palais de Justice that he had inaugurated some two decades earlier - Gilles Vaillancourt was charged with crimes usually associated with biker gangs or mobsters. 

But as introduced above, it is one thing to hear about corrupt leadership and rumours of kickbacks and scandals and scams, but quite another thing entirely in the case of a certain Rob Ford, of Toronto. This train wreck has already outlived its entertainment value, and it should be put to bed immediately before something truly destructive or final concludes it for us. Quite how this guy remains welcome inside the rarefied airs of city hall is beyond me. 

We are of course talking about the leader of "Ford Nation", Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto, who has so damaged his public reputation that it is beyond belief that he still has a job, of any kind, never mind being the leader of the largest city in Canada, responsible for a staggering $10B budget. I think I can spare you all of the details, as anyone in Canada who has a TV or reads the paper even once a week should be as aware/sick of the story as I am, and the video included above speaks volumes more about the problem than I could.

Essentially, Toronto has a mayor who when asked recently (under enormous pressure after many denials, but in the face of threats of new video evidence surfacing) whether he had ever smoked crack (cocaine), stated something like "Well, maybe in a drunken stupor, yes, I tried it". One has to laugh; since when did "drunken stupor" become acceptable behaviour or terminology for city mayors, or a useful excuse for using illegal drugs?!

The very same mayor who stood side-by-side with Police Chief Bill Blair and proudly announced that he was taking drugs and gangs head on, all the while allegedly filling his head with chemicals of both legal (alcohol) and illicit (drugs) nature? The astounding statistic being that once "Mayor" Ford admitted using crack, his approval rating actually rose, and remains about 44%! Way to go, Toronto! What is wrong with this picture?!

Rather unbelievably, two famous talking heads south of the border, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert both railed on Ford; Stewart was a little more generous, encouraging Ford to seek help right away, while Colbert was stronger and actually ended his piece by apparently smoking from a crack pipe. When a Canadian mayor starts to become the source of hilarity for such shows south of the border, there is a clear and evident problem. 

One thing that seems to repeat over and over in such types, whether it be mayors in Montreal and Toronto, or Tiger Woods, or Bernie Madoff (among many others) and their apparent out-of-control behaviour even in the face of severe scrutiny, is a massive belief (but equally massive error) that they can actually get away with it. Some aspect of their powerful positions in their chosen profession seems to lead them to think that even when the s**t hits the fan, and/or they are forced to admit to their "sins", that they are so beloved that they can actually ride it out and keep their prized positions. 

It is of course some form of sociopathic disorder to believe that all of the rules apply to "normal" people, and not yourself. I am so powerful and so connected that I will wipe the floor with anyone who threatens my situation, and as the Mayor of Toronto, I can even bring the police in to sort out those who try to mess with me. Or in contrast, allegedly use known connections and actual felons involved in drugs to do my bidding and get the video buried by threats and force.

Unfortunately for Ford, all of this seems to have been documented by Bill Blair and his team, who were covertly keeping an eye on Ford as this train wreck has evolved in recent months. I felt certain that the statement by Blair at a press conference this week that they had recovered the by now famous crack-smoking video at the heart of this fiasco would lead to immediate resignation by Ford. 

But amazingly again, no. The sheer hubris (or as Stewart joked, how big are this guy's balls?!) to stand and tell the city that he will stay on to do the job he was elected to do, in the face of all that has transpired, is simply unbelievable. Torontonians truly have no problem with a mayor who regularly gets into "drunken stupors" that can end in smoking crack, and believe him when he pounds the pulpit and claims he is against drugs in the city? While being seen in photos with known gang members from the Dixon highrises?

As an indication of what is at stake here, the person pictured far left in this photo is no longer even alive, having been killed in what is believed to have been gang-related activity. How is this even possible for a mayor of a metropole such as Toronto? How can anyone find this acceptable? Ford's staunchest supporter continues to be his brother Doug Ford, himself a city councillor, and other family members. They have an excuse, but for everyone else?

It is almost inevitable what will happen next - the expected announcement that he will enter rehab. It's almost become the default move for any celebrity who runs into trouble. But there is a huge difference between being a Tiger Woods or a Lindsay Lohan, and being a celebrity mayor who runs an entire city. Once the credibility is shattered to such an enormous level, I think this rehab visit will not come with an automatic return to power and fame, and it shouldn't. He needs to be replaced in the interim, and that should be the end of the affair. 

Perhaps it is Jon Stewart who said it best, and I shall let his concerned words be the end of this weekend's blog. - Kevin Mc

"Mayor Ford’s a lot of fun to ridicule. But my guess is, not a lot of fun to eulogize. And that’s where this thing’s headed...."

I don't hate Mondays - anymore!



I read something recently about singer/songwriter and activist Bob Geldof (Sir Bob, to be correct) reconnecting with old band mates for a reunion tour of the Boomtown Rats, his contribution to the punk/new wave scene in the late 70s and early 80s. I am not a huge fan of such reunions as they often have more to do with nostalgic "cash-in" than any relevance of that nostalgia to today, or the contemporary art form.

 

However, sometimes a song resonates for an entire lifetime, and my mind kept coming back to their massive hit, "I Don't Like Mondays" which reached #1 in an unbelievable 32 countries - a staggering achievement for a bunch of musical scallywags from  Dún Laoghaire ("Dunleary"), a small seaside town in County Dublin, Ireland.

 

As with most of the music produced by alternative artists at that time, the song was political and aligned with a period of considerable industrial instability and worker unrest in Ireland (as described in the video above), but for us schoolkids it hit home with us for a more personal reason - the imagery of kids forced out of bed and into a classroom at school made us feel they were singing for us!

 

Even though the idea is that we grow up and grow out of that situation, the harsh reality for many it seems is that school is simply replaced by work when we do grow up, and our love for the weekend and dread of Monday morning pervades almost our entire lifetime! Doesn't this seem quite absurd? Who would want to live that life? What would be the purpose of that life?

 

Even though it appears ridiculous as a concept, how many of us truly jump out of bed with some fire on a Monday morning? Well, okay, let's refine the question a little - when one first wakes up at 6am on a chilly November morning, no one can blame us for feeling groggy and desiring of another hour in bed - agreed. But once up and once showered, our feelings about it should have come around considerably. Ready to hit the streets and take the day!

 

I can imagine that some are ready to argue that it is easier to feel like that if you are a doctor or own your company or do something apparently very interesting for a living. Or, if you make tons of money doing something, no matter how trivial, well it's all more fun. But it's actually not about the money, at all. Generalising somewhat, those who chose to stay on in school and get more degrees actually wanted to, and those who left school early to get a regular job and start "living" did so out of choice (often), also.

 

We truly are the outcome of such choices, even if they can be tinged with regret later on. But irrespective of the level of sophistication in our work, the key is doing something that we at least like, if not actually love, and being paid to do it for five days a week is a bonus. Nevertheless, anything becomes routine after a while, and everyone seems to have a boss, but these are mere facts of life. We have to get over it, and get on with it. Or, if one is truly unhappy about one's life, then the only thing that will change anything, is, well......change!

 

"Good God, it's all change here, stars must have swapped position...." - [Close Lobsters, natch]

 

Most of us might escape change for a long period of our younger lives, but inevitably change is gonna come-a-knocking. People fear change for both rational and irrational reasons, but sometimes the only way to face change is to dive into the deep end of it, and see how you actually cope with it. And guess what? We can often shock even ourselves by not only how we cope with it, but how we actually begin to thrive in it!

 

Unquestionably, compared to waking up in a hospital bed or uniquely challenged in ways that so many have to face daily, those of us with the capacity to jump out of bed and into the shower, unaided, are completely blessed. We simply need to be reminded of it, more often. More importantly, we need to remind ourselves of it, much more often. Write it on your bathroom mirror and face it with your face, every single morning. Get those words off the mirror and onto and into your forehead, and carry them with you out into the world.

 

Most of us have so much to be grateful for, yet we find things to moan about instead. It's human nature, but if so then we must fight our nature! Start counting the things that make this world and our presence in it so remarkable, and emphasise them more, and dwell on the  negative a little or a lot less. It's often only by relegating the negative things to where they belong in terms of priorities that we get to see more clearly that low on the list is where they actually should be; suddenly they don't seem to matter so much.

 

Get out there, and make a difference to your circumference, every single day. It doesn't matter whether it's a brilliant new idea in engineering or a work mate calling you brilliant because you helped solve a little problem they had or the fact that some junior person draws inspiration from you - as long as you project positivity and resolve even in the face of adversity, you can make a difference and change someone else's viewpoint even without knowing it.

 

There will be enough time later for sitting by a warm fire with the pipe and slippers, and retiring to bed early. For now, it is time to say "I don't hate Mondays", and get out there to change lives, and if necessary, lay the bricks for a reconstruction of your own life and slowly build in the change that you need to get your life back on track and on the up-and-up. It's a cliche of course, but one interlaced with truth - anything might be (I won't say, is) possible, especially if your bust your butt attempting it!

 

It really is in our own hands, each and every one of us, and the only sure thing is that if we do nothing and change nothing, then we are unlikely to succeed in constructing a better tomorrow. However, if we get off our rears, and at least try, most days, then we are stacking the odds in our favour and our chances increase - and trying is always better than crying, n'est-ce pas?!

 

Oki doki, it is time for this boy to try to put together a steaming masterpiece involving this new "Bolivian Black Bean Breakfast" delight that I just imported from my supplier, and word is that I will be jumping out of bed for days to come on one large cup! ;) - Kevin Mc

 

PS - It is interesting to note that the song relates to disaffected schoolkids and their desire to "shoot the whole day down" - a premonition becoming increasingly prevalent in American schools today.



New product rollout?! More like an embarrassing national washout!

Holy mother of God, I honestly thought I could take a pass on this if they could all get off their overpaid behinds and resolve it, but no - just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! We are naturally talking about yet another fiasco under Barack Obama's watch - the total embarrassment often referred to (even by him) as Obamacare, his signature flagship healthcare reform program.

Talking about reform, it seems that millions of people can't even get to filling in the actual form(s), and that's what needs reforming, first. Stat. It took nary a day after the supposed shiny new  bells-and-whistles website opened for business on October 1 until issues began to surface. Quite typically of Obama's administration, blame was placed on others - in this case, the actual consumers! Are ya kidding me?! Apparently there was too large a volume of traffic on the website? Duhhhh.

Now let me see....in a country of more than 300 million people, the government railroads everyone into signing on for a new public healthcare system backed up by a new law, and, no one was expecting any serious traffic? What?! This seems to represent a new low, a new level of abject incompetency, even for an administration that has been plagued by one new low after another. 

My men on the street tell me that the most recent testing done on the site pre-launch was for about 200  "customers" on the site simultaneously. What? Which genius made the magnificent decision to beta test 200 users for a site about to become a national priority on a massive scale? It is ridiculous beyond compare. 

It didn't take very long for the volcano to erupt, and quite understandably (and most definitely predictably) both the customers and the vehement political objectors to Obamacare (read effectively all Republicans and a serious handful of Democrats as well) each raged against the machine. Here we go again, just as the country seemed to be moving forward, and with ol' B.O. into a second term with no future, he done gone and screwed it up again, with him quite literally pouring warm gasoline right onto the Republican Party's BBQ?!

You can be sure they are firing up for a huge roast, and it will be Obamacare that will be on the spit, slowly revolving over the roaring flames of Hades itself, and the Devil's own red hot sauce bubbling lava-like at the side. For hardcore Republicans, getting Obamacare onto the spit is about as good as it gets, especially as it's a metaphor with his name directly attached to it. Nirvana!

Quite what he was thinking is beyond me, beyond you, and probably beyond any of us. It is one of the most spectacularly incompetent political screw-ups in history, even if it is quite reflective of the never-ending series of woes that have been placed at his door since 2009. Solyndra, Ted Kennedy's seat loss, Fast and Furious, Guantanamo, Benghazi, the Petraeus affair, the IRS scandal, sex crimes in the military, the national debt crisis and government shutdowns, Edward Snowden and the NSA debacle (which is now causing international outrage over new evidence that leaders in various ally countries were being monitored by Big Brother USA) - need I go on? These are just off the top of my head!

At precisely the moment in his tenure when he needed a smooth transition for the country into alignment with his Affordable Care Act, he ends up on TV once again, with his by now routine (but increasingly worn) guilty-looking expression and stoicism in the face of yet another storm of his own making. He's always "angry" and he's always "gonna get to the bottom of this!" - until the storm fades away, or another fresher once blows into town, and we can use the second one to make the people forget about the first one. Until then, folks "are working overtime, 24/7, to resolve this problem!". He never seems to get the point that hearing some "folks" got their butts kicked and are no longer on the team might just keep more people on his side. 

Read my lips, people. At least one head has to roll for this debacle, and in any other business situation in life, it would be Barack Obama. A transaction-based online company rolling out a supposed shiny new product for one and all, and then the frenzied customers totally unable to use that transaction-based website, with a serious deadline approaching to do so? Trust me, for a cock-up of such a gargantuan nature, the CEO would be exited by the board. As he-she should be. 

There is no surer sign of executive disconnect than a CEO who does not take responsibility for the online presence and functionality of their online business, in today's marketplace. Can you imagine Jeff Bezos of Amazon, or Steve Jobs of Apple (during his reign supreme) or Gregg Steinhafel of Target accepting this kind of mess on their flagship websites? Before anyone thinks that these are real businesses and healthcare is not, the response is that it is - today. Healthcare dot gov is the new online shopping website for consumers to purchase their health insurance, as required by Obama's new law. It is a vendor-customer transaction and experience, pure and simple.

In terms of both customer experience/satisfaction (a critical aspect of any online vendor's website) and the inevitable political maneuvering, the new product is a total, undiluted washout. A complete professional embarrassment, for everyone involved. The one head that I feel will roll is Kathleen Sebelius, HHS secretary, who is facing a lonely walk up to Capitol Hill this week to face an angry House Committee who want answers. Congress is fuming, just like those who have tried to use the website she is responsible for - the latest estimate with the new troubleshooter is that it will be fixed only by end of November. LOL. 

I don't know which enterprise was brought in to set up this website (I think it might have been CGI) but both they and Sebelius have created a farce of massive proportions which has once again seriously undermined Barack Obama, Obamacare, and the entire administration. Although I might just feel a smidgen of sympathy for the guy who is embroiled in yet another crisis over healthcare reform, it evaporates extremely quickly when I see the amount estimated to have been spent on getting this product/website to where it is today.

$394,000,000. 

I think those numbers speak for themselves most eloquently, and I needn't say one word more. - Kevin Mc

Is there any fake in Drake, or should Canadian rap be given a break?

As part of our new and occasional "Commentary on Canadian artists" of note, it felt appropriate to begin with a certain Torontonian who was granted the honour of a very rare full hour segment recorded in the CBC's Studio Q with Jian Ghomeshi. We are of course referring to local rap phenomenon, Drake.

Now as usual, I will lay my cards on the table from the get-go, and say that I don't really understand the "phenomenon" part of the Drake phenomenon, at all. In terms of lineage, image and a truckload of the content - it's all been done before, and better, in my opinion. Having said that, I will admit to not having spent agonising hours examining the artistic merit of the guy and his music, but that says a lot in and of itself.

How much artistic merit or intellectual insight is one expected to glean from lyrics which not only are truly reminiscent of black American rappers from the 'hood, but often seem like total clones of everything that's been said before? To wit:

"I want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes, the hoes.....I suppose, I just wanna be successful" - ["Successful" by Drake]

Yes, yes, I know, a thousand master's and a few hundred doctoral theses have been written on the significance and rise of black rap (and even white rap), and what such lyrics tell us (told us, today) about the struggle of growing up black in America - I get it. For those who lived that struggle in earlier times of our history, I understood both the need to break out of the 'hood, and actually turn their 'hood experience into cold, hard cash, and then to even brag about it.

Such feelings are not unique to black America (or Canada), nor are they restricted to underprivileged kids of colour. Look at the punk movement in the UK (for that is where real punk was born and nurtured), which was a similar rebellion about being underprivileged white kids with no future. God save the Queen, indeed. A three chord rebellion that came in at a little over two minutes in many classic cases, with a more clever way of stitching together the beautiful irony that railing against the establishment can often result in one joining it!

"Huh, you think it's funny? Turnin' rebellion into money...." - ["White Man in Hammersmith Palais" by The Clash]

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I just find something truly more inspirational and intellectually interesting about the latter lyric (one example among many), and feel a total artistic emptiness in the former. The UK rebellion was equally anti-establishment (be that musical or governmental), but that didn't somehow translate into the procurement of "hoes" as a motive behind artistic success and the money that came with it. The goal was expression, and getting the underground truly out and onto the overground, and if one made some serious cash doing it, well, keep quiet about it and let the art speak for itself. I can remember the furor over Joe Strummer's "white mansion" in London, because he had a basement apartment in someone else's big white house, and even that was considered annoyingly ostentatious! RIP Mr. Strummer, you made (and still make) a huge dent in the musical memory of so many.

I was sorta hoping the interview on Q would help change my mind, not least as Drake is a Canadian, and a proud Torontonian, but maybe the only thing that kept me watching was that Jian Ghomeshi was not as sycophantic as I expected him to be, so that made it all more bearable somehow. Jian doesn't use his platform much to discover new talent, more and more he interviews exclusively those who have already made the big time, and the ensuing love affair in live interviews can occasionally be too sickly sweet for the discerning viewer.

There wasn't much insight gained that opened up a deeper or more intellectual side to Drake, and there was enough reinforcement of what we do know already to kinda seal the deal, as it were. On the one hand, he expressed deep appreciation of getting a Grammy award, as it had been a "lifelong" ambition ( can you say that at 25?!), then he said he was "not doing this to get awards", in reference to when he hosted the Canadian Junos, was nominated for six of them, and walked off the stage empty-handed. Do the American awards matter more then?

Rather surprisingly, Jian called him on it and asked him which it is, you want the awards or don't care about the awards? You only have to read some of the guy's lyrics to feel what it is about the awards that matters - it's the being there with a big posse amongst competitors and dissers, and winning, per se - that's what counts - not so much the silverware. That "whole rap thing that's been going on for thousands of weeks!" - anyone spot the Godfather reference, a la Diane Keaton and Al Pacino?!

He got a bit sensitive when questioned about criticism over his own OVO Festival held in T-O each year, and made it clear that it's not "some ego-driven thing" as in the end he doesn't make a penny from it. But coming from a mega-rich guy in his mid-20s, who seems to care about attention, media accolades and recognition, that statement could come across as rather disingenuous. Especially when it's backed up by a statement in almost the same sentence that reads:

"I put a lot of people in positions to do great things...." - very selfless, in a self-aggrandizing sort of way, but I am sure all those people are eternally grateful.

The entire package to me just reeks of legacy/image ambition over content, and a lot of the content and branding comes from established rap and hip-hop artists from the south (i.e. the country south). Yeah, he's Canadian, so much is made (by him) of a hiatus spent in Memphis - either learning his trade or assimilating some cred while being Americanized,  depending on who's telling the story. But it all somehow comes across as very clever branding and marketing, using tried and trusted trademarks originally and less calculatedly utilized by (American) others:

• The fierce pride for a city and an area code. While this is understandable, it originated from hardcore rap and hip-hop artists who escaped from the 'hood while either trying to not forget their roots, or making sure others remembered them. But there is a huge difference between Cypress Hill or Watts or Queen's, and Forest Hill. Still, the message is to identify with a city and use it to marketing advantage.
• To that end, Drake even extended it to the classic rap/hip-hop mantra of tattooing his area code on his skin - that area code being 416. More or less the equivalent of say, 212, for New Yorkers, where the poor people don't live, often. It's not exactly a tattoo across one's navel saying "Thug Life", but then again 2Pac was the real deal. Drake even states rather incredulously that he puts lines into some songs specifically about T-O, and seems to want thanks for doing so, or at least some form of selfless/artistic credit. 
• A very vocal claim that "I do everything I can for the city, and I don't expect anything in return". Very admirable indeed, even if big old bad old T-O is not quite crying out for the help, and many have moaned that it's got way more to do with Drake's own masterplan and individual agenda than it has T-O's.
• The whole thug thing in general - you gotta have been a drug dealer or a gang banger, and if like another real deal, Fiddy Cent, well, if you been shot a whole bunch of times that's just credibility currency the like of which no one has - and certainly not Drake. But he does talk about his father having been in jail, and repeats the urban myth that it was a jail cell buddy of his dad who turned Drake onto rap. Ironically, while giving credit to that guy, Drake can't remember his name apparently because he never knew it. A seemingly convenient yet evidently unverifiable little tidbit of street cred, I guess, for a former privileged Degrassi  actor from Forest Hill.
• In many ways, this Drake "thing" needed American acceptance and approval before Canada warmed up to the guy, and even he admits that. There's a whole slew of 30-somethings from Toronna spouting off on Twitter about how great he is, today, yet when you go to their record collection it's all Springsteen and classic rock (maybe a KOL album as dressing). Huh? Howdya go from dat to groovin' wid yo bros and hoes?! But when big brother USA buys in, it's usually only a matter of time, especially for something as esoteric in mainstream Canada as rap/hip-hop. Now we have our very own bad boy rappa, only a decade or more later! Rejoice!
• The association with the big local basketball team, the Raptors. He even identifies himself as an ambassador for them, and wants to even be involved in the building's management and presentation. Hmm, can anyone remember any famous rap or hip-hop dude who has a passion for basketball and is often pictured in the expensive seats right on the sidelines? Does JayBey ring any bells, for example?!
• It's pretty clear that this young man has seen the wealth and the lifestyle of Jay-Z, Kanye et al. and decided he wants some of dat! But to hear such naked thirst for money in both his earlier desire to have $25M by the time he was 25 (been there-done that) and his new, current ambition to have $250M by the time he is 29 - well, that reeks of a rather unashamed greed way more to me than any form of artistic integrity or ambition. Had he said he wanted to be Bill Gates, and give it all away, that just might have come across better, but no. I don't think it's that healthy to be driven by the desire to have a quarter of a billion dollars by 29, when you are 25, but hey, that's just me.
• "I wanna invent something, I wanna start a company, you know".....again, this is just more copycatting and has been TM'ed to death already by all of the famous individuals he is channeling: Diddy, Jay-Z, Fiddy, Dre etc. Already a superstar with maybe hundreds of millions before 30, yet not content, and wanting to be something else that one has zero training or education for, but for which one can simply pay others to do for you and stick your name on it.
• The biggest indictment is that this supposedly mild-mannered kid from Forest Hill has begun to be involved (or indulge in?) the almost prerequisite spats in clubs with other hip-hop types, causing a stir and creating some unpleasant but rarely undesired media attention. I just laughed when I heard this Canadian boy's posse were involved in altercations with that other bad boy, Chris Brown and his crew. One person commenting on it on MTV suggested that Drake needed that, to up his rep a little, with the big boys. Fortunately though, it's hardly the war between East and West coasts that involved real bullets and killed famous people - it's just one kid who was charged with slapping around his girlfriend fighting with another kid, over that same (ex-)girlfriend, apparently. Far from classy and even farther from typically "Canadian".
• The single most disappointing thing overall is the lack of any apparent musical excitement or artistic ambition - he more or less expressed answers in that regard in terms of how he wants to win, wants to be #1 and wants to be mega-rich. This is almost artistic bankruptcy, from where I stand. I cannot find anything remotely intellectual or endearing in it.

I could go on, but why bother. As long as the people see worth in him and enjoy his music then good luck to the guy. And I suppose I should give him a break for only being 26 today, an age at which what one spouts is often meant to have little significance whatsoever. But when I hear a very rich kid in his mid-20s stating:

"I sacrificed so much, dedicated so much of my time, given up a lot of years for this" - well, how much sympathy or empathy is one supposed to have? I think anyone who made $25M by 25 and who fully intends to make $250M by 29 should zip it. Ya don't wanna come across as moaning about how much life you missed, makin' that quarter billion in yo twenties, do ya?! Or the other way of seeing it, and it might be the most telling thing I gleaned from listening to Drake during the entire interview, is that all that money doesn't seem to make him happy and there's still a huge hole inside.  He should think about that some if it's indeed the case.

That might be the take home lesson for y'all, kids - having $25M in your bank account by 25 could just have the capacity to suck the very need to get out of bed each morning right out of you, suck the very life out of you, take away your purpose......and then what?

We will close it out with some lyrics from his big number "Started at the Bottom", full of swagger and clinging to familiar cliches of a formely down-and-out rapper, now proudly wearing their chains and swag even when at home; that relative "bottom" being Forest Hill or his having been a charmed young actor on Degrassi, notwithstanding. - Kevin Mc

"I'ma worry bout me give a f**k about you

Nigga, just a reminder to myself

I wear every single chain even when I'm in the house

Cause we

Started from the bottom now we here

Started from the bottom now my whole team f**kin here

Started from the bottom now we here

Started from the bottom now the whole team here nigga"

From the sublime to the totally ridiculous!

    

Hey EU peeps, here we go again! Another interesting week to say the least; quite a few things took my eye (and ears), and I have selected a few of note for this weekend's blog. First up, the announcements of the Nobel Prize winners for 2013 which certainly warmed a few hearts I am sure.

After a life and career as a short story writer (who recently retired), the Nobel Prize for literature went to a Canadian woman for the first time in history, none other than Alice Munro. Now in her eighties, Ms. Munro could not be reached and Peter England of the Swedish Academy had to leave a message on her answering machine to tell her the news! She was typically (Canadian) humble in her reaction to winning, even after such a magnificent cherry-on-the-cake of her career. Many congratulations to her. 

The prize in physics rightfully went to those who first conceptualised the "God particle" more scientifically referred to as Higg's boson - that would be Peter Higgs of the UK and Francois Englert of Belgium. Even though the particle was only truly discovered/proven in July 2012 at the Large Hadron Collider of CERN, the prize was appropriately awarded to the pair who came up with the hypothesis almost a half century ago. Quite remarkable!

Onward to the Nobel Peace Prize, for which my money was on none other than Malala Yousafzai, who has been the subject of a few other blogs on this site in the past. Most recently, we commented on our enormous disappointment that Time magazine sold out and gave their prestigious "Person of the Year" award in 2012 to Barack Obama, for merely getting re-elected against almost non-existent competition. As opposed to a girl who got shot for her belief that girls everywhere deserve the same education and opportunities as boys. 

But let's not forget that the Time award was previously known as the "Man of the Year" award until as recently as the millennium, and old habits die hard. Choosing Obama over Malala was a woefully conservative and wholly underwhelming choice, almost as incomprehensible as the Nobel Peace Prize he got simply for being elected in the first place. In both cases, I feel the choice represented an inverse bias and had a lot more to do with new world old school politicking, than any quantifiable merit. In fact, the Academy acknowledged they had given Obama the award more for what he would (read, might) do, rather than had done for world peace, which in my opinion cheapened the award. What he did do was spend a first term way more focused on getting a second term, rather than fussing over world peace. 

It's ironic that Obama beat out Malala for the Time award, just because he scraped his way into a second term (and for being a black president, which also got him a Nobel Peace Prize) as once again, in 2013, the Pakistani girl lost out for her own shot at the Nobel Peace Prize to an organisation (OPCW) responsible for eradicating chemical weapons on a global scale. This is the outfit who will be responsible for decommissioning all of Syria's chemical weapons systems, which while being an admirable pursuit, does not in my opinion in any way equate with the notoriety and individual heroism displayed by Malala Yousafzai. 

One is an organisation paid to carry out its mandate, and the other is a schoolgirl who risked her life everyday by speaking out for girl's rights everywhere and who got shot for doing so - which did nothing to silence her - in fact, she has become more vocal than ever and is truly an inspiration to girls (and their parents) all over the globe. I cannot help but feel that losing out to Obama for the Time award and to the OPCW for the Nobel Peace Prize just underlines that we still have a way to go when it comes to real equality between males and females. 

Go and look at who has won the former "Man of the Year" award since it became "Person" in 1999 to see how cosmetic the supposed political correctness is, versus it being any actual reflection of the fact that women are as dominant as men in today's zeitgeist. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, indeed. There's a lot more recognition given to a black male politician for staying home in Washington for four more years than some Pakistani schoolgirl who took a bullet from the Taliban enemy that this president is also at war against - I know who is by far the real (only) hero of the two!

But Malala did get the Children's Peace Prize in Holland this past week, so we are glad she continues to draw attention to her crusade for equal rights for children everywhere, and still being a tender 16-years-old, well, time is on her side to one day go to the White House as a new Nobel Peace Prize winner. It will be quite fitting that it sure can't be Barack Obama who will be there as her host, and in all likelihood, it will be Hilary Clinton, potentially the first female President in American history. Very appropriate!

Our second subject (befitting the sublime to ridiculous title) actually arises out of a campaign championed by that other Obama, the first lady, and her "Let's Move" initiative. It's part of her approach to tackle childhood obesity that is at epidemic levels in the US, via promoting both a more active lifestyle as well as better nutrition for the nation's youth. 

It's a worthy cause, not least because the future healthcare costs for a nation of already clinically sick children is going to be massive when they become adults with lifelong obesity, diabetes, metabolic syndrome, and atherosclerosis (among others) ahead of them. For the first time in history, children are developing age-related diseases ahead of their parents, which is a staggering indictment both of the impact of fast food on society, as well as the outcome of endless hours spent in front of TV and computer screens. 

As part of the effort to support this campaign, the US Postal Service released a special "Just Move" stamp series (example shown above) to commemorate the concept and get it into the public eye everywhere. But whaddya know? There's always someone who wants to spoil the party, and due to criticism from various groups, the stamp has been withdrawn and will have to be redesigned for later release.

What's the huge problem? Apparently we had a skateboarder with no kneepads, a kid doing a cannonball into the pool ((whoa, dangerous!) and another doing a headstand with no helmet. Are you kidding me?! I mean, come onnnnn! This is totally ridiculous and a real example of what is wrong in society today - total (often hypocritical) political correctness at all times in public, yet simultaneously doing nothing to change things or even happily clinging to old ways in private. 

You know what I find the most ridiculous thing in all of this? As kids, we didn't have kneepads, we crashed into the water with total abandon and got ourselves into all sorts of shapes and situations, and yet we are the healthy ones? If these naysayers worried less about kneepads or helmets and always finding something negative in a positive, and actually got their kids off their backsides and out doing these activities like we did, they might actually become healthier! 

I think it's a real shame that the stamps were pulled and the artist involved saw his work being removed from the shelves. All due to some little concerns over a cut knee or a bump on the elbow or a bruised leg - as a kid, I know which I would happily race outside to get, rather than being diagnosed with adult-onset diabetes or metabolic syndrome, due to the way kids get to live today. 

Shame on those responsible for creating a furore over this stamp and for giving kids yet another excuse to claim that activity and exercise can be dangerous, so just let us sit idle at our gaming screens while we stuff our face with crap, as we can't get injured doing that at least. Out of the mouths of babes. 

Ironically, finding any excuse to not let kids get into any of the activities shown on the stamp above is going to injure them in a way that makes a sore knee seem like something to celebrate and show off by comparison. We used to be proud of our battle scars, and maybe there was more reason to be proud of them than even we realised at the time - we were active and we were healthy! ;) - Kevin Mc

The Twit in Twitter is meant to be silent!

       

It was an interesting week, what with Washington bullets and the chaos surrounding the ridiculous shutting down of government services in the US, but you know, I have said more than enough about Obama and his difficulty in actually leading, in the past. As each month passes, he gets closer and closer to the "dead duck" status of a President hitting mid-life (crisis?!) of a second term, where all the focus and attention shifts to someone else.

That someone else being Hilary Clinton, natch, who he fought with aggressively to get to the White House in the first place. It's already time for a change; a sentiment with which most of America agrees, I am sure, given the current excuse for a "government". I said back in 2009 that there would be no JFK+Jackie O legacy left behind by the Obamas, not least because in their case there were no brilliant politics nor even any serious risk-taking behind their hype and celebrity. Trying to please all the people all the time does not a President make, and when one spends almost an entire first term focused on a second term? Well, that story is already written, and current events are an accurate summary of it. 

From the previously sublime to the totally ridiculous, I couldn't help but watch the online feud between controversial Irish singer Sinead O'Connor and precocious American pop starlet Miley Cyrus that exploded on all our media this week. Right from the get-go, I couldn't help but chuckle at the mere concept of a wacky 50-ish former (female) star lecturing some currently hot 20-year-old on her behaviour. Does Sinead even remember her own 20's? We do!

Now, I don't doubt that some of Sinead's comments did come from a "motherly" place, in the recent open letter to Miley that she published online. But there is one very key point to make here from the start - Miley does have a mother. And a father. It's their job to continue to try and guide their former little girl, now that she is all grown up and a young woman. 

It's not because Miley confessed to have been inspired by Sinead's very touching (and admittedly very classy) video for "Nothing Compares 2 U", that Sinead O'Connor has some special right to criticize the young woman and accuse her of being a de facto prostitute for the music industry, and being pimped out to it by either management, or even God forbid, by herself. 

Now don't get me wrong, I understand the ongoing fuss about the current female elite in pop appearing on stage and in videos wearing less and less, and being sexualized more and more. I get it. But you know, this was all done before, and caused a bigger fuss in even more conservative times. Madonna is still the one they are all trying to emulate in one way or another, and Madonna is older than even Sinead is today!

We have heard the warnings regarding all the starlets who followed Madonna, and that includes Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Lady Gaga, Rhianna and bla-bla-bla. It only takes one hot starlet to show more skin or pull some controversial attention-grabbing move, and the other girls see the response (and the increased income) and then try to do one better. It's not that different from high school, it's just on a public stage with massive amounts of money involved. 

I think it's actually naive of Sinead to assume they are being totally "pimped", and have been brainwashed into it by some svengali music biz types, who use them and abuse them, then go off to their "yachts in Antigua" on the spoils. Give me a break - the music industry has been milking talent dry for decades and squeezing every dollar out of them - there's nothing new about that. Apart from the fact that in 2013, managers and their acts have way more control of their destiny and revenue streams than ever before, and acts do not need to be "prostituted" to make music anymore.

It might even be insulting in the extreme to suggest that a rather savvy young businesswoman artist (and that is what she appears to be) is being totally controlled, and none of the decisions regarding her music, performances and image are being made by herself. I doubt that this is the case. But, she is all grown-up from being Hannah Montana, and like almost all ex-Disney child stars, she seems to be going through a semi-rebellion against all that, occasionally acting out as a way of separating herself from her past persona and stamping a new reality on her brand. Quite frankly, the skimpy tops, exposed skin and knowing innuendo are quite typical of adolescent girls in general, on your typical high street in summer, and it's not a phenotype restricted to female starlets. 

Tell me, what more do you expect of a 20-year-old who was formerly seen as all innocent and prim-and-proper, who now wants to play with the big girls of pop? She is simply announcing that she has arrived onto the bigger stage, and while I agree that it could be done more discreetly and more musically, well, in 2013, you can get more attention in a heartbeat via Twitter or an awards show than from a year of touring. Sinead  herself is acutely aware of this fact, and it may well explain what is going on here - free publicity. Little more. 

I ain't going to get into the whole furore over the MTV Music Awards performance with Robin Thicke - too much has been said already. I didn't like it, and most didn't. But she's an extremely prominent 20-year-old who (by most points of view) made a mistake or a bad judgement call - well, whoop-di-doo, let's chain her up in the town square stocks for that! People need to get over it, or over themselves - one cannot be a hypocrite just because she is famous. 

If we lambast her as if she were a prostitute (and you know, it is desperation that often leads to that career choice), then we better be prepared to do the same to a nation's teenagers, who inevitably make such errors growing up. It's not because Miley's are observed by millions that makes it so unforgivable. Burdening a 20-year-old with the demand that she always be a role model at such a tender age is just not fair, and I am sure she does not need some faded star and part-time wackjob (who is older than her mom) playing her mother. 

Ms. O'Connor has had a colorful past of her own. Just because she claims, all holier-than-thou style, that she did not accede to the music industry and she hid her sexuality, does not a saint make. Let's remind ourselves of some of the history here:

• Sinead caused not a little controversy in her own very early career, by being present at pro-IRA rallies. These were venues for showing support for the violent struggle against the British Government in Northern Ireland, via bombs and assassinations. It was claimed much later on that she was being "misled" by her manager, one Fachtna O' Ceallaigh, who had indoctrinated her with the righteousness of the IRA's actions. So she refused to let the music industry sexualize her, while letting it use her celebrity to validate terrorist acts? Uh-huh. 
• At one point, she accused the boys of U2 of ripping off small Irish acts via their label and recording studios in Dublin, even though the boys were already filthy rich! I laughed out loud when after being asked if she had tried to make amends, she said that each time she spotted Bono at industry events and got close to him, some burly types always got in her way. I wonder why? Poor Bono was probably worried about having his throat slit!
• Sinead actually wanted to be known as Mother Bernadette Mary, after being ordained as a "priest" in the late 90's by a religious offshoot not recognized by the Catholic church. You tear up the picture of the Pope on SNL but you want to become Ireland's first female priest? Now don't get me wrong, Sinead and I would see eye-to-eye on the bulk of her opinions about that church (read "A QUIET RESIGNATION" for example), but then also having a desire to become a priest among them? Wacko.
• The aforementioned "performance" on SNL in 1992 wherein she tore up the picture of the Pope speaks for itself. No need to discuss further. I did smile though at her remembering the time she got into an elevator and Frank Sinatra, the Chairman of the Board himself, was standing there. Frank had said he would slap her, if he ever saw her again. Sinead was trembling, lol. Well, it is Frank Sinatra, not the Pope - Frank's the real deal!
• Her third marriage to Steve Cooney lasted from July 2010 to April 2011. Her fourth marriage was to a therapist called Barry Herridge, whom she had met a few months before on the internet. They married in December 2011 in Las Vegas, but 17 days later she announced on her website that their marriage had ended, after living together for only seven days. A female priest who truly seems to mock the institution of marriage? Wacko.
• Various online postings by Sinead about the state of her mental health, and her need for help, and more recently her Twitterwar with superstar Miley, simply underline the troubles that lie within. The fact she that she has since threatened legal action to that 20-year-old girl for responding more or less as any 20-year-old would (should?) to her, is by any standards just completely ridiculous! Be careful Ms. O'Connor, Miley is way richer than you are, I imagine, and she can afford to take you to the cleaners in any American courtroom. 

Need I go on? Sinead O'Connor is an Irish singer whose career never recovered from the SNL "performance" debacle, never mind any other shenanigans she got up to before or since. It must sting to see these kids of barely 20, with such huge success and maybe a lifelong career ahead of them, instead of a screwed up one. But to go public in a tone of claimed "motherliness" and lecture some girl, and then threaten to sue her, at almost 50 years old herself? All this inside the same week? Someone does indeed need to grow up - the one with no excuse for such behaviour!

Miley, you go, girl. Listen to your real parents more, and listen to all the clingers, and wannabes and self-proclaimed advisers (including wackjob "therapists") less. You're doing some growing up in public which is not always fun to watch, but you sure seem to be still way more centered than some of those willing to take a ride on your fame and success. For their own gain. 

Do y'all think it's entirely coincidence that Ms. O'Connor is heading back out on tour herself? Uh-huh. This recent public outburst (which could have been handled in private) has nothing at all to do with the fact that Sinead O'Connor audiences can fit into the upper mezzanine of the huge stadiums that Miley Cyrus can fill? Ticket sales envy is not at the bottom of it all? Yet Miley is the one accused of pimping herself to the media to increase revenues? 

Ms. O'Connor should zip it. Ms. Cyrus should rip it, but maybe just let the twerking go, and occasionally channel some Hannah and keep more clothes on. No biggie. ;) - Kevin Mc

The biggest start-up in the world or an old behemoth trying to buy its way out of an early grave?

  

Unquestionably, the recruitment and hitching of Marissa Mayer's star to the aging, aching, ailing Yahoo brand and logo could only have been viewed as a positive move for a company that had completely lost touch with the times it lived in, and had thus left many with few reasons to believe. Anymore.  

Yahoo somehow had let it all slip away; formerly glittering bejewelled crystals of sand poured out through the widening pores of a veritable pillar of salt of their very own making, converted into a cold, hard new composite that was interlaced with the reality that the dream was almost over. 

It piled up around the foundations, and walls, and once it began to seal off the windows and cut off the light, a previously precious "warmth" was gone. And there's a huge difference between feeling "cold" and looking "cool" in the high stakes business of high tech - or in this case, make that mobile tech.

Marissa has been on a shopping spree like almost no other for the past year, and has thrown some twenty-plus start-ups into her shopping cart (presumably using a much more mobile-friendly and up-to-date provider for the online transactions!) since taking the reins at Yahoo. Kudos to her for realising that the linchpins of the company's online image and business, Yahoo News, Yahoo.com and various online communication tools all needed a serious kick in their low-tech rears. 

But it's historically been all about advertising, and less about end users of Yahoo. My men on the street tell me that today there is a whole new vibe (maaan) on the 17th floor of their Manhattan offices, with a clear and purposeful switch to start-up atmosphere with teams of engineers running amok riding the new wave. Someone smart (I wonder who?!) made the conclusion that mobile media (make that mobile life!) was the way forward - yet there won't be any Nobel prizes for coming up with that pearl of wisdom. At other companies, it is neither the way forward nor the future. Why? Because that "future" is already here - it is now. Today.

The fact that Yahoo are so far behind is a total indictment of how long and how deeply they have been asleep at the wheel. Somehow, as a shareholder, pictures like the one above, with Ms. Mayer arm-in-arm with a bunch of kids and tech geeks, does not exactly make me go all warm and fuzzy nor all "oh-ah" as I check the share prices which are far from romantic. Profits rose recently, but revenue had slipped, again. 

"I'm pleased with Yahoo!'s performance in the first quarter," Mayer said in April, 2013. 

"I'm confident that the improvements we're making to our products will set up the company for long-term growth."

While I am glad that our Marissa has confidence, that is hardly a surprise for such an over-achiever, yet it is not enough to keep most of us warm at night. They can create a tech locker room nerdy boys club type of office all they want, and engineer the bejesus out of their creaky old rusty ship but there is one critical aspect that I think that Ms. Mayer should not let get buried in her clear desire to be "one of the lads" - hmm, better make that "one of the lasses" so I don't get bullwhipped for being sexist or politically inappropriate, via some social media tool, on some no doubt ultra-modern uber-mobile technology!

To what do I refer? Well, we will have to go back to web presence 101 for that one. It was called "web content" for a very good reason. I continue to be appalled at the lacklustre (often that's at best, sadly) and much too occasionally woeful excuse (at worst) for content that appears on many news items and blog posts directly associated with the Yahoo brand. 

It's all very well recreating the great-free-snacks-and-pinball-machines-and-basketball-hoops playroom already hash(tagg)ed to death by the likes of Microsoft, Google and Facebook - but engineering can only do so much. You can build the most accurate and pristinely perfected car out of some magnificent engineering, all you want, but what if someone fills the tank with diesel and not fine grade unleaded? It's not going to be long before the inevitable stall.

It's all about end user and that user's experience, hands on, when it comes down to it. Mobile versions of the major Yahoo online offerings will only carry the car so far - unless the gas fueling it is of the highest quality possible. In this case, the analogy is that the content is the gas. You can go ahead and spend millions developing the new tools, but unless you attend to issues to do with the content accessed by those tools - you can forget it. Content is king, with a capital K, and there is still much work to be done.

Now it's not shocking that Ms. Mayer is heavily focused on engineering and product development - that's her core expertise. But as CEO, she needs to dive into the deeper end of uncharted waters, and address the content posted with the Yahoo brand tagged to it, especially the Canadian franchise. There are still way too many posts (blogs in particular) with titles and a blank space beneath, or a sloppily written excuse for content with typos, grammatical errors and words that mean nothing at all - collectively implying that the people she called back to head offices for "phoning-it-in" continue to do so - only they do it now from head office. Need an example? Here is an opening sentence on a blog from today, October 10, 2013, on the announcement of the first Canadian writer to win the Nobel prize for literature:

"Celebrated Canadian short-story writer Alice Munro, who announced her retirement earlier this year, has won the prestigious Nobel Prize in Literature, becoming the first Canadian-based to earn the honour."

Did you spot it? These people ripped Yahoo off, and I sincerely hope she knows it. There were one or two names in particular who regularly posted titles with zero content, and I have a funny feeling that these people billed Yahoo for producing "x"such pieces per month, and no one bothered to check the content. Or the blank space beneath the title. It was, is, and should always be a total professional embarrassment to all senior management at Yahoo, and that means Ms. Mayer too. 

Yes, I know she bought tumblr, thereby accessing some real content (making a nice change), but it cost her over a billion dollars to do so. It's hard to call your company "The biggest start-up in the world" when you can afford to buy other real start-ups for over one billion dollars to boost your own brand! To date she has acquired over twenty of those real start-ups. 

In terms of content, calling Yahoo a "big start-up" is disingenuous. It's only like a start-up in terms of where it's not today, in relation to where it should be, already being a household name and part of the zeitgeist. Yahoo the "start-up" is a true oxymoron. One that Ms. Mayer is not going to get away with much longer. Yahoo will officially be a 20-year-old in 2014, and guess what - it's time to grow up. "Girl, you'll be a woman, soon!" [Urge Overkill, natch!]

But ya gotta give the girl a break - she's trying, at least. It probably is a little cooler to be a yahoo today. But the baby is all grown up, or should be. And we had a honeymoon, which is shortly going to be over too. Either Mayer and Yahoo deliver on the promise of transporting the brand into this decade (or beyond) or I fear that Ms. Mayer will be visiting that beyond in the form of the circumference outside Yahoo world, maybe even before all those young engineers hit their big 3-0. 

Marissa - we think you can do it. You probably know you can do it. But engineering is just the mechanics. You need the gas and you need the best drivers - and that can only come with a renewed and reinvigorated overhaul of that dirty word - content. When the day comes that you can look into the Yahoo mirror on the wall, and tell it that you are more than content with your content, then that's the day to yell "Woohoo" into the mirror of Yahoo! ;) - Kevin Mc 

A lunchtime eaten up by the magic in the molecules!

"What I would do is come up with an expression that while being even bizarre, could readily summarize the order, and be readily memorable. It raised an important question for which there was no clear answer: is it okay to remember the ordering of my alluring alkanes by not wasting my time on memorization, but by creativity, and then use the precious time to go further ahead in the textbook? 

This approach was the alternative to having to repeat-repeat-repeat things in my head, which was as boring as Sundays, and did not seem to require “intelligence”, in my mind. I did my best to construct grammatically correct (or bloody close!) sentences for my tools of the trade, so then I was performing a service to both English grammar and literature. “May Edward punch Bob?” is a perfect sentence, with a subject, an object, a verb and punctuation. Even Mrs. Crawford would be forced to concur, under enormous pressure from the Judge, as an expert witness for the prosecution.

“I would remind the witness that we are not here to debate the relative virtue of the English language, as compared to organic chemistry. No! Answer the question, Madam, or I will have you in contempt! Is the sentence that young Carrington constructed to outline the ordered ascension of the alkane series grammatically correct or not?

“Yes, your honour, but…..”

“Silence! Yes or no will suffice, Madam. I must instruct the jury to acquit, given that we are not here to compare chemistry with English. Rather we are here to decide if there has been an abusive misuse of the “Beloved Bard’s” language, in a chemistry class. In the latter question, even the expert witness for the prosecution has been forced to admit that Carrington’s grammar was sound.”

“Objection!”

Overruled, counsel. Bailiff, unchain the defendant. Young man you are free to go, and you can continue to use perfectly constructed sentences as a tool of the trade in the pursuit of your beloved chemistry.

I knew that the Judge would see things my way!

In Stephen McConkey’s case, like myself and molecules, he literally had numbers running through his head, 24/7. He used to remind me of those slot machines in the arcade, with the wheels turning, sequentially ending up with three red strawberries. You could see McConkey’s eyes glaze over, the cogs racing, and then the numbers appearing in his eyes, as he had the answer.

“Max, we have just completed half of our day at school, this means we have only three point five hours to go, or, two hundred and ten minutes, or if you prefer, twelve thousand six hundred seconds, or at an extreme, twelve point six million milliseconds to go until freedom! Not bad Max!”

It wasn’t that he had actually learned that, per se. It was that he had a calculator for a brain, and once the penny was dropped into the slot, boom, the wheels turned and the numbers flew, and out popped the answer. So he had a gift, and he used it to sail through any mathematical problem. Most of us loved it, but it sometimes came with a derisive retort from a boy who hated school with a passion.

“McConkey, I am gonna slap you. You manage to take the good news that half the day is finally over, but manage to take what’s left and magnify it up by millions!”

Similarly, Parker Cornell also had chemistry in his veins; he lived, breathed and probably shat out more chemistry than most boys ever learned about the subject. It used to amaze me how a boy (or girl) could come to school, see a subject they had never taken before, and be so brilliant at it. It was as if it was in their genes or something. Parker was a star, from day one. What I loved about him was the fact that he was never arrogant or cocky about it, he just talked to you about it like some old professor from Oxford or Cambridge. 

“No, Max. That’s not how it works. Vulcanization has nothing to do with Star Trek, at all. It is a process where polymer molecules are cross-linked and cured, in the presence of sulphur atoms, forming an extremely strong covalently-linked polymer, used in the manufacture of rubber. It is used in, for example, car tires. No big shock that the process was discovered by none other than Goodyear, in 1839.”

He would correct you without a moment of humour, or condescension. He also had a photographic memory, which made him a double threat. We would test him occasionally, bringing in a page from a chemistry book two years ahead of where we were, let him look at it, then ask him questions. He had it. But he was one of those boys who had the gift, but was not a sociable one, nor was made for regular society. He stood out, but only quietly, preferring not to be noticed and wanting no attention. Of course, these type of kids usually had a rough time of it for being swots, but he seemed to escape the focus. One time though, a boy from the year above us started picking on him in the line for the canteen, calling him a woman, and a swot and kicking his ankles. 

Poor Parker, he really had no idea what to do and it was painful to watch. I had been there often enough, and I didn’t need any more kicking myself. But the hero of our year arrived at a perfect moment. The thing I loved about Rodney was he was a man’s man, tough as nails, but never once in seven years of school did I see him pick on anyone weaker than himself. He only picked on boys older than himself, if they went looking for it. When he saw an older boy who was not even particularly hard, picking on an easy target from our year, he would step in and take control of the situation. He beat the living shit out of the boy who had picked on Parker, warning him at the end that if he ever spoke to Parker again, he was a dead man. 

Word spread real fast, and Parker Cornell never had a tough moment again in that school. Rodney knew Parker was not cut out for it, he just wanted to be left alone to do chemistry, and he never bothered anyone while doing it. So he was now a “free” man. Shaking hands afterwards, they made a strange couple, cut from entirely the opposite ends of life’s rich tapestry. On the one hand, there was Parker, a soft lad, rotund, soft spoken, shy, who hated sports and was truly academically brilliant. Then we had Rodney, a tough guy, athletically built, confidence pouring out of every pore, a ladies man, fantastic at all sports, and academically uninterested. 

“Thanks a lot, Rodney, I didn’t expect you to help, but I am sure grateful that you did, he would have killed me, I know.”

“No worries Parker, but I will expect you to let me look over your shoulder in multiple choice tests in chemistry from now on, haha! My God, if I can get even half of your score in chemistry, my parents will be convinced I must have cheated, haha!”

This would be a classic example of symbiosis, I thought. Two different species co-existing together and both benefiting from the situation. The tough guy and the swot, one benefiting via protection from parasites and attack from superior specimens, the other benefiting via being able to utilize other forms of survival skills. We all were good at different things, but if we were to combine our gifts, we might be unstoppable, and we could rule the world! In an ironic twist of fate, the boy who had picked on Parker, and got sorted by Rodney, would take his own life by carbon monoxide poisoning in the garage at home, a few years later.

So, yes, some people just had natural learning gifts, which gave them huge advantage over everyone else. I decided that any little trick I could employ to even the score somewhat would be allowed. May Edward punch Bob was burned in my memory. As were many other expressions. All was fair in love and war, and school, as I said, was war. Anyway, no one keeps all this stuff in their heads forever, you only had to learn it now, to move on. As adults there are no more exams, and you can easily go to a book or the computer to check on which chemical does this or that. So we do what we have to do to get to the point where we don’t need to do exams anymore and can just enjoy doing what we love, which is experiments!

More and more experiments, with my beloved magical molecules...."

[Excerpted from THE MOLECULES  by Kevin Mc - available now on Kindle at Amazon]