A most magnificent metamorphosis!

Out of the chrysalis didst the butterfly emerge. From a rather vague, apparently functionless and motionless pupal shell, doth a butterfly eclose. Out of seeming blandness doth a magnificent creature emerge; an array of colors, all wafer-thin gossamer wings dusted in a fine powdered silk. A beautiful sight. An awe-inspiring rebirth. The most magnificent metamorphosis imaginable.

Thus didst the artist also emerge. A previously imprisoned creature, until all of the biochemical triggers fire in sequence, the chemical information present therein being translated into changes, apparently drastic physical and phenotypic changes at that. In a more evolved and higher order organism, such as the human, naturally the brain is also heavily impacted. A neural rewiring of the network, exchanging synapses, disconnecting those neurons from these ones, and patch them in over here, why don’t you? Just like the newly formed butterfly exiting the pupa to newfound freedom and billowing fresh air, there is a period of “adjustment”. One could be forgiven for thinking the poor creature is in total shock at it’s new outlook on the world, but biology is rarely that unsophisticated. It is function, not folly, my friends. The butterfly needs to sit there awhile, so that its wings can harden in fresh air, to allow take off of the maiden flight. So it was with my good self, upon the realization that my life, my purpose, were similarly altered. I suddenly had you, Charlie Springbank, in my sights, and there was no letting go of you, this time. Upon sitting on the branch for long enough, in awe and wonder at my new challenge, my wings had sufficiently stiffened to facilitate forward movement. So it was that I conceptualized The Masterwork.

Let me be most clear, dear boy. Whilst it came to me in a vision, I had no intention of falling into the traps that others do. I never was nor ever would be, would never become a serial criminal. God, no. Life’s too short dear boy, and I had much work to do. But it just so happened that for a certain period you became my life’s work, and that’s all there was to it. What better way to make you pay for your sins, than to come at you where you live and work, and at your work? Find a method of attack that impacts your daily life in such a way that you cannot escape it. Many people walk out the door of a sunny morning, breathe a sigh of relief, because at least they have work, and a nice office to escape to each day. But what if I came up with an approach that hit you in the stomach, every day, in your chic office, at work? Hit ya hard enough, and on a regular enough basis, that coming home to quaint old Beacon Hill was but small comfort. Especially if the news was blaring on incessantly about it, and the wife would rattle on about when are y’all gonna get off your backsides and do something about it? Daddy-in-law starting to breathe down your neck, because His Highness, Lord Mayor, was starting to crack some heads of his own. The Chief of Police and The Mayor both scowling at you, when you dare to show up at some society function, when you should be at HQ, busting your ass. Irrespective of your acceptance into certain circles due to the wife’s family connections. Yes, this was the idea of The Masterwork. So it was conceived and designed, to pristine perfection. But the proof is in the execution, isn’t it old fruit?

While I recognized that I might rapidly ascend my very own ladder, into stratospheric levels of stardom, I was forced to consider methodology most carefully. There wasn’t any point in becoming an incarcerated star. The job only partially completed. This had to be avoided at all cost. Not least as I had zero intention of giving up even one hour of my own freedom due to the pursuit and deconstruction of yours. This was to be a win-win for me, and a lose-lose for you. Anything less than this and I would be unable to call it The Masterwork. Fast forward the tape, moron, and yes, it is today considered by one and all as The Masterwork.

While I admit that there was a certain deliciousness in considering going up against the record and reputations of some rather prolific criminal masterminds, I confess also that I looked down on the bulk of them at the same time. Why? They were caught. Seemingly wanted to be. It was part of their so-called master plan.  Idiots. You must be really fucked up in the head to exit to a lovely morning on the way to your day’s work, hoping that by so doing, you will end up in a cosy little concrete cell by early evening. This is just crazy, Charlie, dontcha think?! Ergo, and to wit, I had to formalize a list of criteria that would define me differently, and which would thus ensure my freedom to operate. It’s a totally legitimate requirement in any area of business, that one has the freedom to operate without patent issues or lawsuits or law enforcement sticking their annoying little piggy noses in. It would take me some considerable time to hammer you down into the cold ground where you belonged, and so and such were my criteria solidified....

[Excerpted from A QUIET RESIGNATION by Kevin Mc, out now on Amazon-Kindle]

Sticking with Today puts tomorrow on hold!

     

As promised, people, I said I would be keeping an eye on this situation and updating you all when something of note came up, as it did late last week inside NBC Studio 1A in Rockefeller Plaza in NYC, and is making headlines this morning - the statement that Matt Lauer is "sticking with the (beleaguered) Today show" franchise. 

I find the wording of the announcement rather intriguing, not least because the fact that he was likely to "stick with them" was hardly in doubt. He has one of the cushiest spots in broadcast journalism; a position for which he is paid a king's ransom - and then some. It sounds rather unflattering actually, to "stick with" something, whether it be a job or a partner for that matter. What surprises me though, is that "Today" is sticking with him, a move I find to be extraordinarily conservative on the part of NBC.

This show has been running scared for over a year now, and it does not take a degree in psychology to have been able to peel apart the sugary sweet outer layer of what appears on our TV screens each morning, to reveal a state of chaos, panic and competing ambitions bubbling right under that shiny veneer. Careers are made and broken on that set - just ask Ann Curry or Deborah Norville. 

If you tell me that Willie Geist would not jump up and down at news that ol' Matt was leaving the show (finally), then I would laugh. Ditto Natalie Morales, in reference to the adequately performant Savannah Guthrie. It is a simple fact on a show such as "Today" that one person's nightmare becomes the opening door of big time opportunity for those ready to stick the knife in their back to help them on the way out. 

Look at the Ann Curry debacle alone, and you get the picture. When our darling Meredith Vieira decided her time had come, it was seen as automatic that either Ann or Natalie would take over the co-anchor slot. To my ongoing amazement to this day, some (not so) bright spark at NBC decided to give the slot to Ann Curry - a top notch journalist, perhaps, but totally wrong for the co-anchor chair. Her gaffes when reading the teleprompter on even scripted news bits was testament alone to her inadequacy for the role. But NBC went with her, and it was one of their biggest errors in "Today" show history.

That mistake cost the franchise big, and still does to this day. They seem to have not been educated on one of the biggest human resources no-nos in business - that promoting an insufficiently talented or badly equipped employee into a role that is beyond them is asking for trouble. Trouble they got, in abundance, and the franchise slipped down the ratings and lost the top spot for the first time in seemingly a century. That top spot has not been regained since. 

The Ann Curry period was one thing, and the astoundingly insensitive way in which she was dispensed with by NBC is another, but guess what, even when she was gone the darkness clung to the walls and desks leading many to ask what had been heretofore a taboo question: is the problem actually Matt Lauer?! Unquestionably, Matt's brand was affected by the Ann Curry debacle, and his reported role in her exit lost him many lifetime fans, but he cannot be totally blamed given that he didn't hire her or hadn't pushed for her to occupy the prized seat beside him each morning. 

But his halo got dented, he had suddenly lost some of the golden boy sheen around which the show was currently built, and he even began to look uneasy at the desk. There were many rumours about tensions inside the corridors at NBC, and even stories of a major backlash among the staff regarding this grossly overpaid prince of primetime. A chilly frost seeped along the very foundations of the show, and at some points it appeared that the winter chill surrounding Matt could even lead to a modern day mutiny on his bounty. 

"We couldn't be more thrilled with Matt's decision. As I've said many times before, he's the best in the business, and there is nobody I would rather have in the 'Today' anchor chair than Matt.", said NBC News President Deborah Turness. 

I find this to be a very interesting take on things, as I don't think it should have been Matt's decision - it should have been NBC's. They give the impression they were quaking in their boots in case he had decided not "to stick with NBC", and had jumped ship. My take on this is that NBC are still in a state of chaos and are running scared, and better the devil we know than taking any risks whatsoever. 

Don't give me any more of that "Willie ain't ready" nonsense, because that's just fear talking. Plain old fear, over our young Willie. How ready would they consider Matt as he was back in 1997, if they were to consider that today?! He's been on the show for two decades, and you can't tell me he was far ahead of where Willie Geist is today, back then. It's sheer fear, but NBC better be real careful with the talent, something they are not known for, I might add. 

Willie may be looking, already, feeling a little like Prince Charles - a prince for life, destined to never fulfill his role as future king, due to an incredibly selfish and egotistical mother. If they are gonna keep Matt around until no one can stand him anymore, then Willie would do well to jump ship and go be the star that he undoubtedly is at another studio that appreciates him more. 

Apparently Lauer, heading rapidly towards 60, said of the contract extension recently - "I consider this the best job in broadcasting. I love the people I work with every day and I have such respect and gratitude for the people I work for. I couldn't be happier to be staying." Very politically correct, even if it is in stark contrast to various stories from behind the scenes regarding how happy they all are (together. Not. But it's dog eat dog in their world, and good luck to them with that.  

Matt will continue on, though for how long we don't know because neither NBC nor Matt have given any detail on how long the extension is for or how extravagant is his remuneration package this time. No shocker there. He will go on, and do a solid job as usual. But trust me people, the "Today" show's pristine brand has been tarnished, and like it or not, Matt is part and parcel of that, especially given his own stained brand. Some might argue that they are in fact perfect for one another, and NBC are helping him simultaneously become one of the most successful yet most disliked faces on primetime TV. 

It is my opinion that the "Today" show will never reclaim the top spot in morning news while they persist with a fading star whose time has already come. The show simply is creaking with old age at the seams, and it so badly needs a Willie Geist to come in and take over the chair and give it a total spring cleaning and refresher course. Only then will we feel that the clock has been reset and we can all move on to pastures new. You know? Even Matt himself would benefit enormously from a fresh challenge in life, rather than contemplating even another five years of phoning it in for the cash and associated fame. He better be careful that his fame does not turn into infamy.

Some companies take big risks to reap massive rewards. NBC in this case have played totally safe, and have more or less announced that they are willing to settle for being in second place. Quite an amazing admission, but the executives and producers involved all want to keep their jobs, so clearly prefer to continue on with Matt Lauer, rather than making a second Ann Curry-like mistake by putting someone new in the chair and thereby sealing their own fate. Staggeringly conservative, and welcome to a long-term residency in the #2 spot, NBC!                 Kevin Mc

When "reality" TV becomes way too real, it's an immediate turn-off!

The first so-called reality TV show that I can remember is "Survivor" which first aired in the late 1990s, I believe, and boy have we come a long way since then. Make that, the genre has degenerated a very long way since then. While "Survivor" was fascinating because it was focused on ordinary people placed into extraordinary situations, the genre quickly moved onto supposedly extraordinary people living their quite ordinary (and often pathetic) little lives. 

I don't mean ordinary in terms of their income or surroundings, but the universal theme that runs throughout such shows is how extraordinarily ordinary such lives are in reality - money can only buy you so much happiness and rich/famous people have many of the same problems as the rest of the world. Perhaps that's why such shows have thrived - seeing that this celebrity or media star also gains weight, or also has marital problems, or had a drug problem, etc. etc. - somehow serves as a dose of TV therapy and helps people realise they aren't doing so bad after all. 

TV is rarely continuously original and once a certain format sees success, well, they hammer it to death. You start out with what was an enlightening look into rock star life featuring the iconic Ozzy Osbourne and his family, move it on to Gene Simmons of Kiss, and in a heartbeat, before you know it, you are watching a show about a bunch of women you have never heard of in a bland TV sitcom known as "The Ex-Wives of Rock". No, we are not famous, but we used to be married to very famous men, and so y'all want to know everything about us, right? Wrong. I imagine that the most exciting aspect would be an episode where one of said rock stars actually showed up on screen, and you can bet they will make you wait all season to see that!

I remain astounded that people still have any fascination for the Kardashian clan, a bunch of girls famous for being on their own reality show, when they individually had achieved basically nothing in life other than having had a minor celebrity father with a more famous stepfather later on. Famous for being famous, and living for the attention. But the formula worked, and as keen as TV execs were to clone that formula, there was an equally keen if not ravenous line of minor or B-list celebrities queueing up for some of that attention.

Opportunism is the name of the game, and a lot of people jumped on the bandwagon. To this day, I still cannot believe that even Clint Eastwood gave in and definitively allowed his brand to be soiled by exposing his family in such a fashion, but it seems that the wife might have forced him into it. There's even nepotism creeping into it now, for example with the massive recent success of Robin Thicke and his blurred lines (and subsequent marital breakdown), his dad decided to take advantage of that and we have "Unusually Thicke" - a show for which the trailer alone had me screaming in pain at the TV - enough already! 

As formulaic and bland as the genre has become, things have hit a seedy new low with another couple who clearly (must) love attention, and are as desperate for it as their apparent need for the cold, hard cash that comes hand-in-hand with it. This show centres around cornsilk blonde Tori Spelling, daughter of TV magnate Aaron Spelling, and Dean McDermott, her troubled hubby who has been a bad boy of late. 

Any squeaky clean images people had about either of these two were dispelled early on, as the drama of marital discord, cheating, sex, drugs and addictions are wheeled out in front of the cameras for all to see. It is effectively one big therapy session and a totally cringe-inducing one at that, with all sorts of personal details that husbands and wives rarely share with each other, never mind spoken to the whole world - or a presumably diminishing group of former fans.

There has been a considerable backlash to the show, and what else did they expect? How could they have become so desperate for cash that they would stoop to this, and if it's the media attention they have both been missing that led to this, then they truly both need to be in therapy and in fame game detox. For any couple to deal with what they are dealing with in front of cameras is so ridiculous that only money and fame could be at the root of it, and clearly it's an undying hunger for more of both. 

One can only hope that this does not signal a new departure in the genre, and all sorts of famous couples will be allowing us into their bedrooms and therapy sessions so we wash all their dirty laundry with them. But you know, we retain the ultimate power to change the channel, and after seeing less than two full episodes of "True Tori" that's exactly what I did. It was too painful and embarrassing to watch.

Even Oprah has entered into the "watch the train wreck, live" arena with her signing up of the terrifically troubled Lindsay Lohan for her own reality show. In this case, though, I think it is about money worries in both cases - one, the fallen starlet who seems to fascinate everyone even when looking like a one-way journey down a very dark tunnel, and the other, a network CEO with serious ratings and revenue issues. But there is an air of inevitability clinging to almost each and every episode, and the show seems to be encouraging it or further developing it, and I feel all concerned are playing with fire. 

Quite what it is that makes people fascinate over the degeneration of a young talent turning into an all too grown-up train wreck dealing with addictions and darkness is hard to discern - perhaps it is a version of "there but for the grace of God, go I" or it just helps them feel like their own rather unglamourous and less privileged lives are not so bad, after all. Look how quickly and feverishly the world seemed to turn against the Biebs, heretofore adored by all, and now with full blown petitions being sent to the White House to get him deported. It has not been pleasant to watch him grow up on a giant international stage, and more and more he is barely recognisable as the adorable and adored kid he once was - but hey, that's life. And it's his life, not ours. 

Tori has never been as famous as these two examples, and she has actually managed to take a modicum of talent and reduce it to even less, featuring as the "star" of "True Tori". Naturally, there are cynics who claim it's all a scam for money. With these two, no one can blame them for thinking it - he is an actor after all, and so is she, well, sort of. Or she used to be, in her Beverly Hills 90210 days. My, how things have changed. But they could easily have invented all this, and act it out in front of the cameras in return for a truckload of money. If so, I guess they will have the last laugh, but I somehow doubt it. 

Perhaps the most enlightening thing for the unenlightened general public is how fake the entire Hollywood fame game actually is - if you look at the typically manufactured photo above, you see a beautiful couple presumably living a wonderful, harmonious life together. Which fits in with the bulk of all of the other publicity and TV appearances by both of them. This pristine, heavenly frame gets shattered instantaneously in this show, and just goes to show that in Hollywood, image is everything. The canvas that gets painted about such types starts to look incredibly different once you scratch even lightly at the surface, revealing a sad, sorry state of affairs seething just below the surface. 

There's nothing wrong with ordinary life, and for anyone craving the seemingly extraordinary life of such types, take a good look at the photo above, and then try to get through even one full episode of this sad reality TV show without looking away from it. For TV execs everywhere, please show some restraint and do not clone this mistake because it is not the future of TV, as the ratings for this show must have underlined by now! 

But as the song goes - "The public wants what the public gets" (Paul Weller) and TV execs will keep shoving reality at us until the genre dies and gets buried beneath whatever the next big craze is on our TV screens. Until then, I guess they are gonna keep on keeping it "real". Which occasionally makes this boy wanna go underground, too! ;)  - Kevin Mc