How to make a little weiner come across as one big dick!

Among the various stories that caught my eye in the past week, none made me laugh more or stare at the news more incredulously than the encore performance of the quite aptly named Anthony Weiner. Yes, that Weiner, the one who was forced out of his seat in Congress due to the scandal surrounding his weiner sexting affairs under his online pseudonym of "Carlos Danger" - the one that makes all the girls exclaim "what a prick!"

Some people just can't help but repeat mistakes that have already cost them much, but after the last fiasco, one imagined that the political career of this weiner was well and truly toast: toasted like the hog dog bun he burnt himself (and his weiner) in - sorry, couldn't resist!  Alas, no, in recent months he had recreated himself again and was very prominently in the running to become the next Mayor of New York City. 

Incredibly, but true nonetheless, until about mid-June he was in fact the leader of the pack, thanks at least in part due to the solid support of his wife, Huma Abedin, and a tight campaign ran by none other than Danny Kedem, the 31-year-old linchpin of the Hilary Clinton presidential campaign of 2008. But amidst swirling stories, new rumors and various calls for him to drop out of the race due to recent revelations about his continued sexting behaviour, this weekend it became clear that Mr. Kedem has walked - and who the hell could blame him?

Huma Abedin may well be an angel for her ongoing support of a man and a husband who has a proclivity for sending out racy photos of himself to various young women, but she is his wife - she has to deal with it and reject it or accept it. But a campaign manager does not, and indeed  being associated much longer with "Carlos Danger" could only put the future career of Danny Kedem in considerable danger, so he jumped the rails. 

It's very hard to understand what the thrill of sexting would be to a married man in the public eye, but it's somehow even harder to comprehend why Ms. Abedin remains on the train, while essentially everyone around Weiner is racing away from him like he has the black death. A Congressman who lost his job for such inappropriate behaviour, who goes away to "get better", only to return in a mayoral campaign subsequently beleaguered by precisely the same scandals that cost him that seat in Congress - are you kidding me?!

It's "taking the p*ss", as we say in the UK. Who in God's name would ever want that as Mayor of a massive metropolis such as NYC, never mind what grown woman would want that in bed next to her knowing that he had humiliated her multiple times, publicly, and was quite literally p*ssing on their marriage? While Ms. Abedin gets to decide for herself what she wants to do about this particular weiner, the populus of NYC don't have her level of complication about it - they simply have to vote in droves for anyone else. Because anyone else is going to be a safer, smarter choice. 

The story is as funny as it seems ridiculous, and you can imagine the types of penis puns and jokes that are out there in abundance. In many ways they are already passe, as this has been going on since 2011, but the cover of next month's New Yorker magazine sort of summarises it well.

 

A cover quite fitting for (apparently!) the nation's most penis-fixated politican, and the phallic symbolism of him straddling the Empire State building, smartphone in hand (naturally), is quite brilliant. Apparently, John Cuneo, the artist who produced the cover was worried that Weiner would already be out of the mayoral race by the time the cover went into production, but sadly (and happily for the artist!) this is not the case. Despite calls for him to step down from giant media institutions such as the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the New York Daily News and a cast of many individuals, Weiner vowed to stay on.

Quite what fuels this level of self-belief and self-confidence in the face of total chaos around him is hard to envisage, but it's probably the same delusional self-love, weiner-love and self-weiner-love that provokes him to send out pics of his weiner in the first place.  He probably thinks of himself as some hunk of a beefcake, and yet any woman I speak to about it finds him repulsive - even the supposedly hot images of a buff, hairless political "star" make them stick a finger in their throat. Collective retching, all round. 

Of course, it's possible that Weiner looks at the scandals of that ol' rogue Bill Clinton, or maybe even a Tiger Woods, and nicely places himself among those extremely powerful/rich individuals for whom the rules change, or in fact for whom there are no rules?! But in terms of naked (sorry!) charisma, intellectual talent and being at the top of a given profession, well, Weiner isn't - he's just another weiner - and that's been reinforced by no one more than himself. Weiner has only got weiner to blame! If big Weiner could only keep little weiner out of the public eye (where it surely does not belong), then all of this could have been avoided.

You never know, by the time this blog gets published, I vouchsafe that if he has any sense left, or anyone (it seems doubtful that Abedin will be that person) with any sense left around him, then maybe he will already have stepped down and slithered off into the undergrowth where he should remain, nicely out of the public glare. His public career is over and so he should no longer need the public's stare - but how true that is of an ego that is Weiner-sized remains to be seen.

If there's one thing that no one needs anywhere in the country, it's to either hear of or God forbid, see , even one more pic of the dick known as weiner that belongs to a Weiner!  That's one weiner that needs to be pulled out, withdrawn from the public receptacle and entered into early retirement! ;) - Kevin Mc

Life (or even death) is rarely a clear case of black-and-white: more like a vague grey!

I think enough contemplation time has passed on the outcome of the Trayvon Martin - George Zimmerman trial, and now I am ready to make some comments on this story - but it's not an easy one to deal with, it has been and is extremely polarising, and there are only truly two sides to choose from, and one to stand in line with - and neither feels completely satisfactory. A very rare murder case in that only two people know what happened, one of them is dead, and the other admitted to shooting the other fatally. 

I am not going to retrace the exact details of the story because unless you have been in a salt mine in Siberia, you are undoubtedly fully aware of the background and may even be sick of hearing about it. Quickly, George Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon Martin, a teenager effectively a decade younger than himself, in a gated community in Sanford, Florida, on the night of February 26, 2012. Zimmerman was the neighbourhood watch coordinator in that gated community, and appears to have relished that role considerably, not least because he had ambitions of becoming a fully-fledged police officer. 

Well, the one thing that we can be sure of today is that he can forget that ambition, now.The fact that he was found innocent will make no difference - no police force in the land is going to risk the wrath of the public by hiring a guy accused of a racially-biased shooting, and giving him more gun powers, not less! Zimmerman is effectively a marked man today, and moving out of state and going into relative obscurity is the best thing that could happen to him. Even if this seems rather harsh, one must not forget that he shot and killed a teenage boy in a situation which he (Zimmerman) initiated and inflated, and for that you never truly get away scot-free. 

It's really a story of two sides, neither is fully complete without the other, and it was their combination that fueled the tragic events of that night. FIrst up we had Zimmerman, a gung-ho would-be wannabe policeman, out patrolling in the dark of night, searching for the "enemy", but with the legally sanctioned firearm that would ultimately kill Trayvon Martin. In the 18 months prior to the fatal shooting, Zimmerman called the non-emergency police like seven times to report suspicious behaviour, and he himself had had a few run-ins with the local police. 

Trayvon Martin was an African-American teenager, and one that appeared to have the usual teenage issues with school, truancy, some graffiti and marijuana problems, but hardly some hardened gang member from the 'hood. In fact, if we are honest, you can take almost any 14-17 year-old boy and dig up some dirt on them and make them look like a shady character, even over one incident in their young lives. But he did seem capable of looking after himself, and already close to six feet tall, it seems he even had boasted of some his fisticuffs conquests. 

The key, of course, is what exactly went down when Zimmerman and Martin made physical contact. After Zimmerman had called 911 and asked for police support, and in response to his statement that he would go after Martin, the operator can be clearly heard saying: "You don't need to do that, sir". Whether his decision to do so was a heroic act, a stupid one, or one with some other intent is at the very heart of this story. Why did he go after him? Why did he confront him if he knew that the police were coming? Was he hoping for a glamorous Hollywood scene with the squad cars screeching in, lights flashing, and he would be there with the "perp" already under citizen's arrest, and there would be high fives and back-slapping all around?

As we all know, this is nothing close to what happened. In court it was totally vague as to who did what, with one key witness saying that he saw Martin on top of Zimmerman raining blows on him, and another witness claiming that it was Zimmerman on top, not Martin. Both sets of parents were passionate about the fact that the voice crying out for help in the darkness was their child, not the other person. Race became a big part of the taking sides on this story, and how could it not - it began to feel like old OJ, all over again - albeit in an inverse form. But you know, if OJ could get off from the charges laid against him, then quite frankly, everyone should be worried about the justice system, and realise that anything is possible. 

The prosecution screwed this one up, and I think that's kind of obvious. For going in too hard on a second degree murder charge, they effectively snookered themselves. Bringing up manslaughter at the last minute was a clear sign that they were on their last legs, and had realised that they had not met the burden of proof, over a reasonable level of doubt, and the jury was going to acquit. As it did. Had they gone in at the start and stated that going after Martin with a loaded gun knowing police were on the way, confronting him, and getting into a physical confrontation that only he could win (by shooting) was a clear case of manslaughter - they might have had more success. 

The verdict was given at a time when most were already winding down their evening, and it did not hit most people's world until breakfast on Sunday morning (July 14), which was probably a good thing. Of course we now have the predicted protests and outrage at the verdict, and we can only hope that cool heads prevail and we don't get to see anything reminiscent of what happened when OJ was set free. There is talk of the Martin family pursuing Zimmerman in civil court, but a Zimmerman lawyer said he did not believe that will happen "because all of the stuff you didn't hear about Trayvon in the criminal trial will now be allowed in a civil court, and the family surely don't want that." Hmm, interesting.

It was inevitable that Obama would enter the fray, but not quite as he did. Informally coming to the podium at the White House and not so vaguely taking Martin's side, even going so far as to state that thirty years ago, that could have been him. A tall, lanky, African-American teen who was into dope smoking and being a bit of a handful- hell, yeah, I do see the similarities! But we do all know that marijuana is an illegal drug substance, right? And one should never vote in a (black) President who had admitted to participating in illegal and nefarious activities, right? Choom Gang stories, anyone?!

I don't think Mr. Obama's assimilation of the tragedy of this entire case into his own personal history or tragedy is helpful, at all. What are you saying, precisely, sir? That you have lost faith in the justice system in a superpower country over which you preside? Or that you no longer believe in the justice system when it comes to minorities? What's the opinion on old OJ getting off? How does that compare to this case? Wasn't that a case of a black man going free after allegedly murdering a white woman in Brentwood, California? How does that speak to you, sir?

It appears to me that Obama let his personal emotions and his own history of being a black man in America get in the way in the statement that he made, and he should have reserved those comments for when he was a civilian again, not the so-called leader of the so-called free world. And of course, none of us are cynical enough to suggest that he is using this tragedy as a way of distracting any of us from his own job woes vis-a-vis the IRS scandal, the NSA scandal, the DOJ scandal, the Benghazi scandal or the Detroit-declares-bankruptcy scandal - right?!

Stirring up a race debate and even implying between the lines, hell no, in the lines, that he, beloved President of the USA, could easily have been Trayvon Martin - well, that's really stoking the fires in my opinion. If there are race riots in city streets following this, look to the White House to place your blame, not just George Zimmerman. I even feel he is guilty of something that I read about on a blog recently, wherein celebrities use tragic events to whip up a massive outpouring of love and support when an event occurs that "could have happened to me!"

A plane going down, a derailed train carrying 74 tanks of gasoline that barrels into and explodes a small town into oblivion, a cruise ship overturning in deep waters, etc. etc. Wow, I was supposed to be on that plane, on that train, on that boat - I almost died people! Cue millions of responses on Twitter in support, because the celebrity life is so much more important to us all than the poor nobodies who actually did get nailed, and who the celebrity conveniently draws all the attention away from - onto themselves. Well, of course: they are attention-seeking fame-hugging stage-hogging celebrities - it's what they do!

Obama's transposing of the tragedy that befell Trayvon Martin onto his own historic shadow simply left me frigidly untouched - in the extreme. It felt like a big serving of self-serving unhelpful rhetoric, with the usual total lack of apparent desire to do anything about it - that's too much work and will lead to more pressure in Congress - but he will stand up and turn the tragedy onto himself as it will get the required emotional impact from Joe Public. Who will feel even more disadvantaged hearing that the President effectively agrees with them that the system is inherently racist and justice is most certainly not for all. 

In any and all cases, there are only two people who know/knew what transpired that night, and one of those two is dead. Trayvon Martin is dead and it was totally, totally unnecessary. It's a tragic loss of a young life. George Zimmerman knows what happened, and none of us know whether he told the truth about it, or not. But he did admit to shooting Trayvon Martin. His own life will be marked more or less forever for what he did, and it comes down once again to what happens when civilians are allowed to have and be set loose with guns. Maybe especially those who feel they are part of the law and enforcement system, as part-timers. 

Anyway, enough of this seriousness for now - it's a gorgeous, glorious Sunday morning here on the terrace, so I will be off now and I can smell that toasted nut and dark chocolate aroma bubbling from the grounds of my new Sicilian Espresso Deluxe breakfast blend. Must dash, chaps! ;) - Kevin Mc 

Go-Go Radio Magic Show - now that's some capital radio!

Whither music? Whither radio? Whither independent radio? I am a fan of progress as much as anyone else, but unquestionably as we make vast progress in reducing the "footprint" in the manufacturing process of pop music (or almost anything else for that matter), certain things of value are inevitably lost. Not the least of which is the number of jobs lost as we strive to make music ever more compact, ever more portable, and even making one's "record" collection almost exclusively virtual. 

For anyone who grew up with vinyl, this is almost total anathema. I don't care what anyone says, there was something truly exciting about heading down to the record shop to pick up the latest 7" single from a band like The Clash or the new 12" single from a band like Joy Division - these were life-changing moments in a young lad's musical journey! They were items to be proud of up on the shelf in "your bedsit room", and they sat among a real collection.

It is impossible to measure the impact of hearing the raucous rebellion of "Complete Control" on a young teenager, just as it is to try to explain what it felt like to hear the 12" version of "Atmosphere" for the first time, and the sheer thrill of being in on the inside, while seemingly the rest of the world knew nothing about one's best keep secret - and that was precisely how I liked it. 

But it wasn't just about the music itself, it was about the packaging too. Even if it was a hangover from the indulgent conceptualisation and graphic design of album covers from the era of 70's rock, there was something very special about how Peter Saville (for example) packaged Joy Division/New Order. There was content in the covers and packaging that stood apart and made them collectible items whose originality and beauty extended beyond the music. Albums, cassettes and now even CDs (how shocking is that?!) are no longer taking up inches on a wooden shelf, and instead now take up bytes on a Terabyte hard drive. 

But how the hell are you supposed to admire and peruse someone's (or your own!) music library on a hard drive? Where is the precious media (vinyl, tape or disc) storing the digits and what was the artwork like on the original product? There was a statement made with the artwork that went along with the band and its music, and that is something impossible to replicate in digits alone. Pretty much the same thing has happened to the publishing world, where books are no longer bought to put on a shelf as part of a valued collection but are stored on a Kindle or iPad. That's progress too, but I am not saying that it's all good either. 

Radio is far from exempt from this trend, or malaise, depending on your point of view. Joe Strummer was a fan of pirate radio that fought against the Goliaths such as the BBC, and transmitted a roster of music that was geared to those who were sick of being force-fed the watery diet of incessant wafer-thin pop on Radio One (or insert your own local station). The pirate he refers to in this song is an outfit who were known as Capital Radio, who transmitted offshore from international waters, so effectively, the BBC (i.e. the government) couldn't stop 'em. There is an ironic Canadian twist because the founder of Capital Radio, the idealistic Tim Thomason, is in fact a Canadian!

Quality radio playing alternative (i.e. with some substance) music is harder and harder to find, and in fact all the big money in radio has gone the way of the shock jocks, who :"say nothing to me about my life", ever. There was one thing that the BBC did right, and that was not being stupid enough to not give a heroic DJ of immeasurable impact a job. I am talking about a guy called John Peel, who personally was responsible for me discovering a huge swathe of unknown music that I night never have come across without his input. But the BBC had him on as a token gesture of course, and his show was relegated to something like post 10pm at night. 

Regardless, it was a treasure trove of quality music, and when I couldn't make it, I could record the entire show and then play it all back taking notes about which bands I had to go hunting for and discover more for myself. John Peel alone justified the entire budget spent on popcorn candyfloss pap, because his two hours was gold in your hand, and rendered the rest of the programming entirely meaningless to anyone who knew anything about music. 

But sadly, John Peel has left us, and given that he was a genius yet still had to fight for his show and time slot over the years, imagine how tough it is for those who had/have not yet built their careers to that level? There seems to be a lot less truly inspired independent music flowing out there, or even if there is not less, for sure there are less radio stations who can or are willing to insert non-commercial DJ's into their digitised, commercial airwaves.

Fear not, all is not lost, because at least here in Montreal, we do have the Go-Go Radio Magic Show, hosted by none other than that boyish legend Uncle Ian and the princely one known as Prince Palu - feel free to peruse their website and Facebook page for more information. Every Friday night you get to hear something new in a format with no rules or restrictions other than having a musical good time mixed in with some scintillating conversation. 

I must do my part to help to keep this kind of radio alive, and I will be doing my bit when I sit down with the lads in their studio on an upcoming Friday in August, to get into all sorts of interesting music from my past which will no doubt include a very lively discussion that could go on forever! I was very kindly invited to come on the show and get into it by none other than Ian MacPherson (Uncle Ian/Mon Oncle) himself - a true gentleman and (musical) scholar! I shall of course be keeping y'all up to date on this page and on our own Facebook page, once a date has been finalised.

Until then, and until next time, it is 30 degrees Celsius out here on my terrace, the sky is blue, the sun is shining brightly, and I think it's time to tune in and turn on some capital radio and get down to sipping my Belgian Dark Chocolate Double Deep Roast iced coffee that just got handed to me - now that's what I call service, and that should help me to not also burn out! ;) - Kevin Mc

A chocolate-flavoured conspiracy that's not even bittersweet - it's simply criminal!

Having been distracted by a few other topical items of late, I now return to something that caught my eye recently which surely made me smile, but also left a dark, bitter taste in my mouth. It is one thing for us to hear of Canadian companies conspiring to fix the price of petrol (gas), and it was another thing to hear of the allegations against Steve Jobs/Apple on a conspiracy with major publishing houses to drive up the price of e-books for us all, but are you kidding me......a price-fixing conspiracy for chocolate?!

Yes, you heard (read) right - chocolate! Hershey's Canada has already pled guilty to one count of price-fixing in Toronto's Superior Court of Justice and  the company was fined a bittersweet $4M for their admitted role in the conspiracy initiated in 2007. But because Hershey's  was the de facto whistleblower in this shady set of affairs, they get a similarly de facto slap on the wrist, and the Competition Bureau are really gunning for the others. 

Who are the others? Well, no shocker that it is names you will all know and (used to) love - Mars Canada and Nestlé Canada, along with the lesser known ITWAL, a national collective of independent wholesale distributors of confectionery in Canada. As amusing as it all appears, price-fixing of any product sold to Canadian consumers is considered to be a criminal act, and the Competition Bureau doesn't seem to find it amusing at all. 

"Price-fixing is a serious criminal offence and today's charges demonstrate the Competition Bureau's resolve to stop cartel activity in Canada", said John Pecman, who is the interim commissioner at the Bureau.

A chocolate cartel? What?! Isn't the term usually reserved for other illicit products, but then again, for some (many?!), chocolate is very much an addiction and a daily fix is simply part of everyday life. But still, I am not sure I can combine "chocolate" and "cartel" and not expect people to laugh at me! But rather unbelievably, criminal charges have been laid not only against ITWAL Ltd. but also against three high-ranking but conspiratorial players in the evil chocolate cartel:

• Robert Leonidas - former president of Nestlé Canada
• Sandra Martinez - former president (confectionery) of Nestlé Canada
•  David Stevens   - president/CEO of ITWAL Ltd.

Before we make too fun of this fact, it is worth remembering that under the Competition Act, price-fixing carries the possibility of a maximum fine of $25M and/or 14 years in prison. Decidedly unfunny, for those charged! However, things get a little more "light-hearted" given that the charges date back to 2007, which falls under the provision of a previous version of the act, thereby invoking a maximum fine of $10M and/or five years incarceration.

It all seems to be too ridiculous to be true, but trust me dear friends, chocolate is big business and is no laughing matter. In the year when the cartel was up and running, 2007, chocolate sales in Canada alone were estimated to be in excess of $1B, and naturally, annual sales of chocolate in the USA are well in excess of that type of number. When there are billions of dollars at stake, whether it's oil, heroin or chocolate (dark brown addictions one and all), corruption and criminal activity will rear their ugly heads. 

Unlike Hershey's (who cooperated in the end), both Mars Canada and Nestlé  Canada are denying the allegations and threatening to fight them:

 "Mars Canada intends to vigorously defend itself against these allegations. It is Mars Canada's policy not to comment on pending litigation and we are therefore unable to make any additional comments in relation to this matter, which is now before the court.”

Uh-huh. And:

“Nestlé Canada will vigorously defend these charges,” it said. “At Nestlé Canada, we pride ourselves on operating with the highest ethical business standards.”

Sadly, even in a business as apparently sweet as chocolate manufacturing appears to be, when too much money is at stake there will always be those with an egregious hunger to be fed more and more - right into their bank accounts. As the nation pigs out reliably, and with a healthy dose of discreet price-fixing, the fatted calf grows to enormous proportions, probably in direct proportion to the nation's waistlines. 

As shocking as it appears to be, it's really just another example of the sick greed that was exemplified in the financial meltdown of 2008/9 that almost bankrupted North America, but which was felt globally in the end. The chocolate manufacturers implicated in this case were probably no different than the corrupt bankers who sold pillar of salt-like mortgage-backed securities to unwitting buyers or those who awarded themselves huge bonuses even while realising the whole house was about to come crashing down around them. It's called sheer, ugly greed - a very appropriate term for an edible product that generates cold hard cash.

What's the positive that comes out of such stories? Sadly, I am not sure there is one. In a different world we would all be totally disgusted, and once the charges would be upheld, people in groups of millions would exert their outrage by boycotting Hershey's, Mars and Nestle products from now on - but we all know that isn't likely to happen. 

On the contrary, due to how "everyday" these big brands are, and how popular their various products are, people will still go to the dispensing machine at work to grab a Mars Bar or stop at the corner store on the way home for some M&M's. I doubt that the profits of any corporation involved will diminish by any significant margin due to this scandal, and the train will keep on rolling very smoothly. It is what it is, as they say in the trade. 

On that note, I have not even had a coffee yet on this Sunday morning, so it's definitely time for my Double Chocolate Deep Dark Delights Roast from Puerto Rico, and I can safely assure you that the chocolate used in this special blend is not sourced from either Hershey's, Mars or Nestle Canada. I am not sure how long I can last, but at least for today, I will consume chocolate that doesn't come with a serving of sinful greed running through its centre. ;) - Kevin Mc